What really happened before Obama's speech today...

Ok, yeah.. I just listened to that speech, and it sounded much better in my head than it did on tv. Sorry, you could tell he wasn't reading a lot of his own words. I can see it now:


script writer(sw): Hey Obama, so you can only say 20% of your own speech in your own way.

Obama: Why?

sw: Well, firstly it is MLK day, so you have to do something with that, well because you are well, you know, African American.

Obama: Really, I am the pres you know?

sw: yes, but you have no say anymore. Secondly, you have to pander to the religious right, make them feel loved, say God a lot, that usually helps with that. Mention faith and family, you should be good.

Obama: But I am... never mind.

sw: Ok, next, you have to talk about the troops, they are after all shedding blood for a war that your peo.... I mean the last president started... yeah that's it.

Obama: what were you just about to say??

sw: Ok, next, give them some hope, don't sugar coat it, but be real. Mention education to get the liberals happy, that shit always makes the liberals happy. Also, you have to mention sciences, Liberals love that word. You may have to mention God a few more times, just to put ease to the religious right, they don't like that word.

Obama: *sighs*

sw: Pres, no sighing, that makes ratings suck. Ok, also, you need to not sound as smart as you are, that puts the majority of the population at ease. Makes them think that the reality tv programming bullshit might just be used to dumb them down. Mention random lines, hell just repeat We the people every paragraph and a half, and well, maybe a few random other lines from the Constitution, and that will appease the Teabaggers.. I mean Tea Party..

Obama: So how much of this speech can I have input into?

sw: Well, now that we have that out of the road, maybe about 5% now. Oh, and just to let you know, we won't be calling you Barak Hussein Obama. We will instead go with just Barak H. Obama.

Obama: WTF? Do I want to know why?

sw: George Bush Sr and Jr still get nightmares when Hussein is mentioned. They see their oil profits drop 30% and lose sleep that they didn't bomb Iraq back into the Jurassic era.

Obama: Fuck this..