I truly believe that Solitaire should be a required lesson at school. No, wait a minute, I have found that it has made me a rather well adjusted individual (if you mean compared to other nutcases, I am quite well adjusted thanks!). But anyways, here are a list of things that I think Solitaire has impressed upon me growing up.
1: The deck is loaded more oft than not: Yup, you always seem to get a good "vibe" from the deck, and suddenly it bites back and laughs at you. I have found life is a lot like this, and well, you just laugh back at the deck and re-shuffle the motherplucker!
2: Things are not always as they seem: Life is a lot like this, take friends, family, co-workers, governments the universe itself. All masquerading as though they are here for you, then bam, no more good cards coming up, and you think that last card hidden on the right hand column under your almost perfectly laid out set is the 2 of damned hearts. This is pretty much life here folks. There is always something lurking facedown under a pile of cards that you can't get to.. answer to that.. re-shuffle the motherplucker!
3: Patience is not always rewarded: Pretty much read all of number 2, and then remember how many times you thought "I am going to stick this through" when in all logic and totality, you should have re-shuffled the motherplucker!
4: Patience can be rewarded, no matter how low the success rate: Believe me, after playing thousands and thousands of games of solitaire, you get that childhood grin of "I just kicked your arse and am taking the ball home with me now as an insult" grin on your face. You know it, you have done it and you are going to totally and utterly show how bad arse you are, by re-shuffling that motherplucker and being all gangsta on it.
5: Solitaire like Karma, bites hard: Having just read point 4, you realize that Solitaire is the card version of Karma. You get all happy and uppity, dance around a bit after a stunning victory, and then bam, 20 games plus losing streak. Does this sound familiar about life? Solitaire is Karma's text book on life. Play it, and learn the lessons. Feel like re-shuffling the deck anymore??
6: Doing something the easy way, while immediately gratifying, leaves you feeling empty: Are you a 1 card dealer or do you prefer the hard life lesson instruction of the 3 card deal? Sure, dealing with one card at a time makes it easy, gives you better chances of winning, which makes you feel good, but at the same time, nowhere in life does this happen that easily. Sure, you could fake your resume, over-sell yourself at an interview, promote yourself as the best thing since sliced bread or the lightsaber bread knife/toaster, but at the end of it all, you don't feel challenged. Ok, maybe for the younger generation, sitting down with a deck of cards is an achievement all in itself, BUT, it still doesn't make you feel that much more pumped about victory! I am so reshuffling you deck!
7: There are many variations of solitaire, and they are all out to add spice (or curses): This sounds like life in more ways than one. Be it drugs, women/men, foods, cars, sex, alcohol, my little ponies, no matter what you do, there are more ways to do it. For example, Spider solitaire, Free Cell, Regular Solitaire and the most evil ever imagined (in my opinion, and only doable with real cards) Clock Solitaire. Like time itself, Clock Solitaire is the face of ball breaking (or vag vacuuming), sweat inducing, soul destroying patience. What is worse, it takes up a lot of space to set up! But, again, like all forms of solitaire, there are lessons here. Time is something that is precious, you have to be patient with it, yet go out and do something with your life. If you aren't playing the game, you aren't living life. And that my friends, is why I think I am pretty well adjusted. Thank you Solitaire.
No comments:
Post a Comment