Hey there folks, just thought I would shuffle a quick update on the last post. The spasms got to a point last week where I had 10hrs of continuing spasms and had to go to A&E. Well that was a waste of time, 2hr wait for an ambulance, 7hrs in A&E being sat in a very painful wheelchair as there were no beds. Ever tried having spasms in your ribcage while sat up? No? I don't recommend it at all. At 3am, I was finally seen to by a doctor, and this was how the conversation pretty much went.
Dr: Hi, so what are you in for?
Me: Had 10hrs worth of spasms in my body. It started 3 months a go when my multifidus and trapezius on my right side got rigid and wouldn't move. It calmed down, but to recall, I have always had minor spasms here and there since the surgery, but these were made worse by my old job.
Dr: And that was?
Me: I was a personal trainer, so I was having to pick up *has spasm in chest* weights and stuff after lazy clients.
Dr: *grabs leg and tries very poor active release on the inside of the thigh* So, this is something that is just a little too complicated for us to deal with here at A&E, but have you tried seeing a physiotherapist?
Me: Doc, I was an injury specialist PT, I know what I need to do, and I do the exercises that I would prescribe my clients that are weight free and low impact.
Doc: How about swimming?
Me: Um, *gives demonstration of neck rotation* I can't breathe water if I freestyle or do breast stroke. *Shows shoulder mobility which is significantly reduced now*, and as you can see, I can't even make a large windmill action.
Doc: Well I am sure a physio would help out.
Me: So, I was told "off the record" by a few people, that mother nature's leafy pain killer might be a good idea, since it is a joint and neurological issue, thoughts?
Doc: Well, "off the record" it is good for pain and neurological issues, but physio is the best thing.
Me: Doc, again, I do the physio, I do the muscle adjustments, and if I could afford it, I would try. I can hardly walk without having a hard time breathing due to my rib cage pressing against my organs, my breathing suffers due to the position of my lungs in my chest, and the chronic muscle cramping with the forward extension of my neck makes head turning, let alone eating half the time a complex method.
Doc: As I said, this is too complex. So, here is a stronger muscle relaxant, ask your GP to give you a prescription, and catch a cab home.
Me: Ah, yeah, thanks doc.
So a week later, and I still feel like I have been hit by the 12th SS panzer regiment in full swing a few times. My nerve impulses feel as though they are swimming through maple syrup. The muscles feel like have been hit by the above panzer regiment and all I can do is sleep. Thanks to a good mate of mine, I have had the concept of neural fatigue explained to me in a rather concise and relatively complex but easy to understand way. To be honest, this hasn't done my mental health state any good at the moment. It has also made me lose a hell of a lot of trust in my body, so much to the point that I now have to look at long term viewpoints. Things I never really had to before, or I should say, things I never wanted to put to the forefront of my mind.
Thoughts
This last few weeks of December, and the first fortnight of January have been a pretty bad place for the world. I am sure most of you know what has happened, and if you haven't, basically, radical terrorists are making sure that the religion they proclaim to love so much, and that brings so much peace, has an even more tarnished name. I have to admit, for my liberal Muslim friends, I feel pretty bad for them, in a way quite similar to them. The reason I bring this up, is that I had made a comment on Facebook about a person's summary of the solidarity protests in France. Whilst this is great, beautiful and happy puppy and kitten cuddling, it is also deeply flawed.
No, don't worry, I am not hating on the process, but what I am disagreeing with, is why. Muslims are being forced by the west to have to distance themselves from the actions of a minority bunch of idiots, not even a percentile point of dickheads, who through slaughter, hate, violence and divide and conquer, and some funding by Eastern and Western governments, are creating an atmosphere of division and hate. We are all mature enough, well, hopefully those who are reading this are, to know that we don't expect Christians to justify the actions of abortion clinic bombers and the KKK, Buddhists aren't forced to verbally condemn Marxist Buddhists in parts of SE Asia. Israeli's aren't, to a degree, expected to apologize to Palestinians for what they have done in the last 60 years since the creation of Israel. And even now, you won't hear of the straight community being forced to condemn the actions of homophobes who kill or force LGBT children, teens and adults into suicide. So why are we expecting the Muslim community to the same.
I have an immense distrust about religions and countries who are very anti LGBT. Being a bi male, it is even worse because male friends automatically now think you are going to be checking them out when you are with them, or that they may think you are only friends with them because you are attracted to them, or that you have designs on getting them drunk and into bed.
And at the moment, this is how one of the most homophobic religions on earth, is being treated. I have no tolerance for a religion, or sub-sect of a religion that thinks I should be stoned to death for who I am, and had no choice in being. Yet at the moment, I understand well the way they are being treated. Westerners are now automatically thinking that any brown skinned person with a beard, wearing a hijab, or full veil and abaya, or the traditional male clothing are automatically planning to commit violent acts. In an article I was reading, and I dislike defending homophobic beliefs here, but those who are more religious, have less of a propensity for being fundamentalists. A majority of Muslims generally follow the Quran, which like the Christian Bible, has a whole great section of punishments for women adulterers, homosexuals, people who commit apostasy and anyone who puts reason above faith, are peaceful human beings, but yet are intelligent enough socially and ethically to disregard these, or at least keep these thoughts private, much like your everyday westerner. The problem starts when you have the Hadith, Shariah and Wahhabi thought being given to those who are lost, ethically, emotionally, spiritually or out on the fringe groups of society by firebrand preachers who use the sytem that they hate, to live and thrive, and recruit from. How do you answer the fact that young men (idiots) are answering the call of an insane and politically/religiously dangerous sect of Islam, to go fight a war in Syria and Iraq, and then bring it back to their home countries. In general, it isn't poverty, lack of upbringing by parents or the community. It is more of a disconnect from modern society through lack of opportunity, lack of a future or the fear of such, or a lack of guidance by respectful Priests, Imam's, Monks, Community Leaders or role models. Youth these days are being taught greed over the good of all, money over compassion and understanding, self-empowerment over the empowerment of all. It is also a lack of education, the continuous degradation of thought being eroded by religious pressure to teach religion in school as a priority above history, arts, language and understanding or critique of thoughts of others or history.
It is when we are taught that faith is more tantamount, more spiritually important than the ability to discern it for ourselves, to critically think what is good for us, is when you start seeing fundamentalist behaviour. It is very evident in the US with the Tea Party, with the Creationist Sciences *shakes head*, with young earth Christians all demanding that their belief be taught as a science. Thought, is the antithesis of faith. With faith, you have people believing in something without proof other than something written down centuries ago. with thought, you have a series of processes which can be verbally or expressed scientifically with additional proof. When you start removing these processes from education, and start giving doctrines of faith an equal measure as proven things like electricity, wireless connectivity, physics, things which faith has no answer for, you start breeding a generation of people who are lost, confused and thus vulnerable to radicalization.
In all of this, I hope that people who read this, truly understand that the way they are being treated by the other religions, is how they treat women and LGBT community members. When you treat someone with suspicion, fear and you start minimizing their ability to interact in society, you are creating the exact same conditions for them, that fundamentalists create for your own religion.
I hope we all, as John Lennon wished for, live in a world without fear, hunger, without the need for religion, a giant mass of consciousness moving for a better world. Star Trek also indicated a world that had come together, through all of the trials we have today, as a strong, intellectual mass capable of exploring space. Mass Effect showed that even with differing cultural and religions, homosexuality, bisexuality or asexuality, that a united mass of humanity is capable of great feats in itself. Maybe we should all listen to John, watch futuristic sci-fi and play videogames more, and hopefully come to an understanding that only a unified humanity, is going to solve the current crisis of interference by a select few over the sleeping majority. Be it the political elite, or the fundamentalist terrorists of all faiths, a united, cohesive humanity is needed right now. NOW, not tomorrow, not next week or next generation, if we are to have a next generation, we need to act now.
With love to all of you who read this, please, think about what you read and hear in the news, please think about how you treat your LGBT, religious or non-religious friends, or like me, bi-disabled-Buddhist/Atheist male friends *woohoo, almost a 5 minority, if I was a woman and not white I would hit the jackpot of minorityness*. But most importantly, don't let anyone take away your power of thought, self respect and belief. When you start letting people absolve you of those, you basically are two legs short of being tomorrow's dinner.
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