Ch.ch.ch.ch.changes! (sorry Mr Bowie)

Change, most people fear it for some reason or another. They fear it through because of the things "it may do to me". Let's examine those in point form shall we?

1: It will change who I am. Okay, some people may be scared of personal changes. These can be demoralizing initially, knowing that everything you thought you had created about yourself, worked so hard on improving or have used to interact with the world, could be wrong.
2: I enjoy doing it this way, I have done it the same all my life. Okay, this one is harder to work through. It is a sign of being stuck in a rut, not being innovative, or as we say, going stale. The only time I would see this as a leave alone factor is if you have Aspergers, where change is brutal.
3: If you don't like the way I am, then Fuck off. Yeah, we all know someone like that, or have been that person at one time in our lives.

Change is never an easy thing to bring about, and like society, personal change can be bloody, violent, hateful and painful. As society is a reflection of what we are inside, this stands to reason does it not? But let me pose a question to you. Why should we not change? We speak out about the need for the Catholic Church to change, or violent criminals to change (these can be the same depending on your view of history ;>), or government to change, even our friends, families and loved ones. We always want everyone else to change, except us right?

Well, thankfully, I have always been happy with change. Being born with a major birth defect thanks to Monsanto, Dow and the colour Orange, I found that change is probably one of the best coping mechanisms with life. Stagnation means that we would still be singular celled organisms, thrashing about in a primordial soup. Change meant that we walked out onto land and breathed oxygen. And that is the same as in our psychological states. If you can't change the state of the mind, then it stagnates, people around you come to resent you, or feel uneasy around you. You start to feel the same way, but you think it is everyone else not accepting you for the way you are.

My favourite thing about change, is all this stuff you see on Facebook, people sharing little meme's etc stating "If you don't like me for who I am, then I don't care" or "I'm not changing who I am for anyone" and my favourite "Why should I care what you think of me". I used to be in the last crowd. It was up until I realized something. We are part of a social herd. And no I don't mean all that brainwashed part (which a lot of people are), no what I mean is that like any other large population of the same species, we have a herd mentality. I was reading as I do, Jiddu Krishnamurti, and he was talking about images and the things we show people to give them some way to identify us from the multitude of humans around us. And well this led me to thinking. IF we are a herd animal, and this can be proven by looking in at any pub or night club, would we not have to be concerned about how others think of us? Should we not pay attention to how we feel around others, how we make others feel around us? Should we not try to mingle with the herd, so we can find a mate, companions and protection from the things outside of our ability to control? Penguins are the perfect example of herds. They shield eachother from natural forces, they share the warming of the eggs, they gather in tight-knit groups for conversation and mingling. If one penguin were to say, "y'know, I don't care what the fuck you think of me, I don't care for your stupid being close when we walk", and went off on its own there would be two outcomes death by exposure, or death by being a meal. This can be applied to humans, sure, our deaths may not be physical, but they could be social, economical, political, emotional and psychological. These are the many forms of death that humanity can be visited by.

Now, back to change. Do you remember, at the beginning of this monologue, how I pointed out three reasons that people think change can be bad? No, scroll up, and I will wait a second. Good, let's move on.
1: It will change who I am. As we can see, personal change can be a gateway to a greater understanding of ourselves, and through that, a greater understanding of society. We are a social species, 1 of 7.6 or so billion. Everyone of us has a part to play in the shape of the world around us.
2: I enjoy doing it this way, I have done it the same all my life. This is just an excuse to say I am in a rut. Once we realize that repetitive behaviour is a sign of the need for change, the more willing we are to accept it. Doing something the same way all the time is great for some jobs, like being the guy/girl that puts the detonator on a nuclear bomb, you wouldn't want to screw that up. But at the same time, doing the same thing in your daily life, isn't furthering the reason that you evolved out of the sludge, and that is to take part in change.
3: If you don't like the way I am, then Fuck off. This is the adult equivalent to "I'm going to my room and locking the door, leave me alone, I don't like you anymore!" tantrums that we pulled as kids. Change makes its biggest mark right here. When you realize that we are a social animal, we have social needs, we begin to erode beliefs, established habits, stereotypes. These are things that need to change on a personal level before being thrust upon the world. Changing how you think about a friend, a culture, or more importantly, an IDEA, is a huge step. Even more so, is following that want to change with ACTION!

Until around a month or two ago, I was perpetuating all of these things I didn't like, primarily because I didn't like who I was anymore. I hated myself for doing things others wanted me to do, doing things because that is what was expected. These things just made me collapse into myself. When I started to change who I am, a lot of things changed on many levels. I became more focused, more able to figure out what it is I want to do in improving who I am. It was nice to be able to take a blessing from someone after doing a good deed, and not feel offended because I am not religious. It comes from a feeling of being part of a huge dysfunctional but generally similar family, which expresses how it feels differently person to person. More importantly, it allowed me to move on positively from one of the best and most rewarding relationships that I have had. Being able to still have a strong bond with someone, and know that even though nothing can come of it again, and still remember with happiness and joy those times, and not as a bitter tasting pill of failure and regret, is one of the most humbling and satisfying feelings.

Remember, change will sooner or later find you, and the longer you wait, the more drastic and profound the cause of change is. Do it voluntarily, do it with commitment and do it with passion. Change brought on by the self is the most beautiful and meaningful form of change.